My Journey To Being a Loser

" Change is: Scary and hard at the start. Messy in the middle. AMAZING in the end! Don't fear change, don't fear hard work, don't be scared to fail or fall and keep focusing on your goal and WHY you want this. If it's something you really want then you'll have to be prepared to give it your all, to pick yourself up when you fall and to let go of being perfect or doing things perfectly. Don't let anything or anyone stand in your way, if there is something you want then do anything to get there and work your butt off. Change is only scary because it's something new and "unknown" which makes you feel uncomfortable.   Stick at it and you will get there and you will be so glad you committed to it! Don't fear the change, embrace it!   Change can be an amazing thing, it brings you out of your comfort zone and gives you the chance to learn, adapt and evolve!   Go for it with confidence!" -Emily Skye I saw the above quote tod

If there is one post that I have been kind of putting off, it’s this one.  Not because I’m afraid of it or anything, but because words may be hard for me to find, and emotions may be hard to express. I’ve stated before that I have always been the chubby girl.  I also, very briefly, mentioned that kids made fun of me and that was one of the reasons I continued to gain weight. When I was in elementary school, at a very young age, I struggled with the concept that, although I was overweight, I was enough.  Kids will be kids, they love to point out differences, they’re curious, and although the majority of the time it isn't in malice, sometimes it is, and there was a group of kids that just tortured me.  I have never understood the concept of bullying, and maybe that’s because I was the one being bullied, but I don’t understand intentional unkindness.  I don’t understand tearing people down to build yourself up.  So, in elementary, I didn't understand why people were being s

Okay, okay I know that this is getting old, me always saying “Today is the day” or “This is my last time starting again”.  Well, this isn’t another one of those. Now that the holidays and vacations are over (well, for now, it’s the 3 month slump) I have time to just focus on me, and getting healthy and fit.  This blog has been a great motivator for me in the past, I’d figure why not use it again…and annoy you all with my posts BWAHAHA. I have 85 days.  Until what you ask?  Well, in 85 days, I’ll be running (more like walking) the Ogden Half Marathon.  Yikes, right?  Yep.  Yikes. Before I get into the details, just know that I don’t plan on running the full 13.1 miles.  (*GULP*  Thirteen point one miles!?  I can do this, right?  Yeah, yeah, I’m sure I can…)  The distance that I do run, I don’t have a time goal.  My only goal with this lovely half marathon is that I finish.  That’s right, I just want to get across the finish line.  I’m sure I won’t be the slowest, and I for sure a

I need advice.  Tips and tricks, if you will. As I've mentioned before, I’m an emotional eater, it’s one of the main reasons why I gained weight in the first place. The past few weeks have been a little hard, and I've turned to food.  I've only gained about 9 pounds, and am already on the track to losing them again. I’m just not through the rough patch, and I really want to turn to cheese fries and ice cream…but I can’t.  If I gain weight, that’ll make me unhappy, which will make me want to eat, which will make me gain…unhappy…eat…you get it. So, what are your tips and tricks?  What do you do when you just want to turn to junk food?  How do you deal with those hard, emotional times? I know this post will not only help me, but it will help others too, so comment on here, message or comment on Facebook, email or text me, and I’ll get them all compiled so we can help each other out. Thanks, dearies.

Last week was my 10 year reunion.  Yep.  10 years. It’s taken me a week to get to grips with that.  I don’t feel like it’s been 10 years, but time flies. I was really scared to go, like, I was crying on the way there because of a panic attack, but I had to.  Why was I panicking, you ask? 1.        I’ve had amnesia since graduating.  It wasn’t bad, but my memories are really foggy.  I can remember people and names, but I can’t remember my connections with them.  I can’t remember events.  It’s just hard.  I feel bad about it.  2.        I don’t really like attention.  It’s hard for me to take compliments, and talk about myself, especially in those situations (we’ll get to that with #3).  So, with the weight loss, people compliment me and I’m basically like “Thank you…now let’s move onto you…or another topic…baseball…Taco Bell…Starlord…anything.”  Also, there is more to my story than my weight loss…but I don’t like talking about me, so move on.  Haha 3.        In reg

I recently read an article about the worst things aboutlosing 70 pounds , and I wanted to write my own.  You’d think that losing 70 pounds would be all hunky dory, but there are some downsides: Compliments are hard.  My self esteem is changing, yes, but it’s not changing as fast as my body is.  I still see myself as the fat girl, so sometimes when people compliment me, I literally do not know what to do, and I get awkward, really awkward.  Haha I’m just embarrassing.  I had to add an additional one that is related.  Attention from men, another thing I’m super awkward with.  I mean, I’ve always been the girl that guys just jokingly flirt with, and I’d “jokingly” flirt back…but now it’s real.  I mean, I can handle my own…but in the end, I’m pretty sure I’m just awkward.  haha I don’t trust my body.  Other people do, but I don’t.  Yeah, I’ve lost 70 pounds, and yeah I’m working on getting fit, but really, can my body handle huge hikes, and jumping out of planes, and going wakeboard