My Journey To Being a Loser

Well, I’m back from yet another hiatus.  This time, I’ve been on plan and working hard, I just didn’t think there was anything to post.  So, sorry. This post isn’t going to revolve around my weight loss, yes it will play a role, but it won’t be the focus.  I just know I’m not the only person in the world who is feeling the way I am right now. I don’t do well with chaos.  I feel helpless and vulnerable, and who really handles those emotions well?  Lately, my life has just been chaos, and every time I think I have a grasp on the situation, it goes into another storm. Yesterday, everything just piled up.  I am literally sitting here, in awe about how I have NO control right now, wishing I had a grasp at something…but I don’t.  (Imagine the opening scene of Gravity, and Sandra Bullock trying to grasp something in the chaos…that’s me.)  I don’t know how to fix anything.  I don’t know who to go to, to try and figure things out.  C...

Yesterday I did SO good!  I didn’t cheat at all, and I was really looking forward to my Lean and Green meal for the day. So my friends and I went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner.  They have the BEST chicken salads!..and also the best rolls…Whenever I go there I usually let myself have one and then I try and stay strong, which is normally easy because oftentimes they don’t refill the basket.  Well, our waiter was awesome!  He kept the rolls coming.  I was doing so good, reminding myself how I had stayed on track the whole day and I didn’t want to derail.  But I gave in.  I had one roll, and then another, and another, and the next thing I knew, I had had five or six rolls.  No big deal, right?  Wrong! To those that don’t know, when you don’t eat carbs, and then you overindulge, it HURTS!  I kept thinking I should just try and throw it up so it would stop hurting…but that would be a waste of a meal. When we got home, I kept j...

Alright, I’m finally updating about the Dirty Dash.  I know you have all been just waiting with anticipation to hear how I did. Haha! Well, I did it!  AND it was SO much fun! I ran the race with three of my friends and I was so nervous because the three of them are a LOT more fit than I am.  I HATE the feeling of holding people back, so I think I was more nervous for the fact that I wouldn’t be able to run as much as them, but we would all be staying together…so I’d hold them back.  Hard to deal with. I had high hopes of doing the 10k, but I only did the 5k…but let’s just say that I got owned right before the end of the 5k and I couldn’t go on. Haha  The Dirty Dash has fun obstacles in the mud and it’s more about having fun rather than running a race.  (I think I ran probably 5 minutes, if that!, the entire time.) So we started off, and you have to run up this hill, not a very big one, but for someone who doesn’t run/kind of hates it because ...

It's that time again!  I've lost another 10 pounds!  So that makes my weight loss 70 lbs down.  I've actually lost a little bit more but I'm just rounding down and I'll get to 80 faster. haha Like I posted a few weeks ago, the changes are starting to become more and more recognizable.  I'm wearing a size of pant I don't think I've worn since junior high (maybe?) I bought a sweater last week that was a size smaller than the ones I bought last year...things are good! I always like to kind of put things into perspective, since it's hard for me to see the changes sometimes, so here is what 70 pounds looks like:  Kind of crazy! Another update: I've started exercising!  And I actually like it!  I'm running the Dirty Dash in 2 weeks, so I've just started running on the treadmill to get up a little bit of endurance, and I made a goal to start yoga in September...I'll talk about that adventure a little later! haha  (Cliff ...

I always thought I knew where home was:  North Ogden, Utah.  Well, I was wrong.  The second we landed in Hawaii, I felt like a piece of me was restored.  I didn't even know it was missing, but I found it.  Hawaii has my heart, and if I have it my way, someday I will return...permanently. :) I didn't end up skydiving, it was raining pretty hard almost the whole day we had planned to do it.  But I'm not bummed about it, we have skydiving here.  It would have been cool, but we got to do some other things that we hadn't initially planned. I took over 200 photos, and there's no way I can add them all here, so here's just a snapshot of a few of the memories.  I couldn't have asked for a better experience.  I was in my element, with my loved ones, in paradise. This one is just to show how happy I was.  I was comfortable in my skin, happy as a clam. I'm so homesick now! haha In regards to my journey:  Before I left I ...

Life is SO great!  I'm starting to see my progress, and it's really making me happy and motivated. I have two AMAZING photographer friends!  The older pictures (when I was at my top weight) were taken by Shantel Urry  and the newer ones were taken by  Ashlee Parkinson . (Hint: If you like what you see, click their name and check out their other stuff! :)) It's just fun for me to be able to see!  Granted I'm wearing a looser shirt that isn't tight on the right, but still, you can see it.  Also, and I didn't realize this, but you can physically see that my confidence level has gone up.  I've always know who I am, no doubt about it.  I just never realized that through this process I'm becoming more confident and I'm growing so much daily...that's motivation enough for me to keep going. Wanna kick it Relief Society and hear a good news minute?  (This whole blog is a good news minute! haha) I've been needing to buy some new je...

I am!  I am a major idiot!  I'm not going to delete that last post because it's a reality check for me.  After I posted it I was just looking at it and glanced to the side at my "countdown".  And, you know what?  I've come a long way!  I'm 30 pounds lighter now then I was in July of last year.  I've almost lost 20 pounds more then I have to lose. I've done SO good!  I just need to keep remembering that.  I've almost lost SEVENTY pounds!   I can do it!  I just have to remember that loosing 1/2 a pound a day is still loosing !  Yeah it's frustrating, but if I just stick to it, I'll make it eventually.   Sorry friends.  I'm a roller coaster today.  Just had to count my blessings! :) xoxo