My Journey To Being a Loser

I recently read an article about the worst things aboutlosing 70 pounds , and I wanted to write my own.  You’d think that losing 70 pounds would be all hunky dory, but there are some downsides: Compliments are hard.  My self esteem is changing, yes, but it’s not changing as fast as my body is.  I still see myself as the fat girl, so sometimes when people compliment me, I literally do not know what to do, and I get awkward, really awkward.  Haha I’m just embarrassing.  I had to add an additional one that is related.  Attention from men, another thing I’m super awkward with.  I mean, I’ve always been the girl that guys just jokingly flirt with, and I’d “jokingly” flirt back…but now it’s real.  I mean, I can handle my own…but in the end, I’m pretty sure I’m just awkward.  haha I don’t trust my body.  Other people do, but I don’t.  Yeah, I’ve lost 70 pounds, and yeah I’m working on getting fit, but really, can my body handle huge...

One thing that happens when you start losing weight, and people notice, is that you kind of become this type of lighthouse.  People are always coming to me for suggestions and tips, for some motivation and encouragement, for some light along the path.  I realize that I have worked hard and been blessed, so I love to try and help in any way possible…but I feel nowhere near “inspiring” enough to actually help out. My only wish is that I could do more.  I wish I could just snap my fingers and all my friends wanting weight loss success would have the drive to do it and actually achieve their goals.  Until I find those mutant powers inside of me (please, oh, please!?) I have my blog...and my email...and my phone to help out. I just had another friend tell me that they want to start their own journey.  And so, I dedicate this post to them. To this friend, You are about to embark on an awesome journey!  But it’ll only be awesome if you make it so....

Good grief, I’m doing really great at this blog thing. I hit a wall.  I just got sick of always having my weight loss in the back of my mind.  Having that there for 2 years is exhausting.  I just got tired of being held accountable to myself…and now with the blog, to others.  I got tired of being afraid of food.  I got tired of thinking in “what ifs” and “if onlys”.  I just was tired of all of it.  I wanted cheese fries and ice cream and to not worry about it. So, I didn’t. And I didn’t really gain.  And I’m happy. BUT, now it’s time to take charge again, and hold myself accountable, for just a little while longer, and get the rest of the unhealthy weight off. For some reason, this restart is really dinging my pride.  I feel ashamed, like I let people down.  But, at least I'm moving forward.  I will get over this plateau, both physical and mental. Back on track, starting today.  Not going to lie, my mornings are a...